So, you got dumped. Your partner decided one day that being in a relationship was something she didn’t want. So just like that, you were a thing of the past. It sucks. You still love her. BUT here is why that breakup you didn’t want, is actually a wonderful thing…
1. You can be satisfied with yourself. She didn’t leave you because you did anything wrong. Not to brag, but you’re actually a wonderful partner. Knowing this, realize you’ve finally learned all those “lessons” from past relationships, and that you truly do know how to be happy, healthy, and in love. You know how to be a great partner, and one day someone (who also knows how to be a great partner) will appreciate that. So be satisfied with “Me”.
2. No more rose colored glasses. You can see things about your former partner a bit more clearly now. She is in no way a horrible person, but she is also not exactly the person she presented to you. Now you can see her as she truly is; both with the good and the bad. Looking towards the future; whether you end up as friends, whether you end up back together, whether you never speak again… you have a whole picture of her now. Clarity is always a good thing.
3. You need absolutely nothing from anyone. You were happy with yourself and with your life before her. You are still happy with yourself and your life after her. It’s wonderful to know that all you ever NEEDED from her… was nothing.
4. You’re emotional. Embrace it. When I’m emotional, I’m creative. I light incense, burn candles, put on good music, and wrap myself in emotions and creativity. I do new things musically. I write easily. I explore other arts and other parts of myself. I dive into the sea of my emotions and when I surface I’m never empty handed. Be emotional and channel it into something beautiful. Bittersweet bliss…
5. In the words of Jay-Z, you got 99 problems, but a chick ain’t one. Real Talk.
6. You can be guilt free. You’re a motivated person. Being with someone also motivated can be empowering. It can be enlightening. It can be refreshing. It can be all of these things and more, but it can also be a tad bit stressful. I, personally, felt guilty with my former partner if I slept too long in the morning. I felt guilty for reading as a leisure activity instead of an educational one. I felt guilty for wanting to relax sometimes. Etc… The thing is though, when I look back at my life, I’ve experienced a lot of things both good and bad, and my passport is stamped with all the places I’ve been, and I had LIVED more by age 23 than some people live in an entire lifetime. Appreciate YOURSELF and how YOU live, and now live GUILT FREE.
7. You can be spontaneous or predictable. When you’re in a relationship, there is always a level of planning that goes along with everything. Sometimes it’s cute and fun, but sometimes you just want to get in your car, start driving, and see where you end up. Now you have the freedom to enjoy planning and predictability, but also to enjoy the organic moments of life. All of this without the input of anyone else. Your days are all yours now, and you can be as spontaneous or as predictable as you want. It’s all up to you.
8. You don’t have to care about anyone’s well-being but your own. You’re naturally considerate. Consideration is a major part of the way your mind works. You always take to mind how something will effect you partner’s day, work, life, etc. You didn’t do it begrudgingly. It simply made you happy when she was happy. You always wanted her to be comfortable and happy and feel loved. Now, You only have to care about YOUR OWN happiness and comfort and love, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling good about that.
9. You also don’t have to care about anyone’s interests but your own. You took to sharing interests with your partner, and actually discovered some things you genuinely enjoy because of it. However, you’re not too upset that you don’t have to watch hiking documentaries anymore. Bring on the crime docos and RomComs!! You supported the things she enjoys, BUT now support your own love for home decor and whiskey and Pinterest and journaling and live music and socializing and sleep, etc…
10. You have different opportunities now. Not to say you felt tied down, but now that you’re no longer in a relationship, you have a lot more space on your calendar to add different things. Honestly, you’re probably sad you won’t get to experience what you had planned as a couple, but now your calendar is free for whatever may come, and new possibilities will definitely arrive. It’s nice the way life fills in the gaps like that.
11. You no longer have to be afraid. The thing bruised hearts are often afraid of, is a broken heart. Well it has already happened. Consider it a relief. You don’t have to be afraid of having your heart taken from your chest and crushed. It’s already happened. Surprisingly, it can feel good, in a way, to be heartbroken. Heartbreak is now one less thing to keep in the back of your mind. So pick up the pieces, begin healing, and move on. You don’t have to be afraid of this person breaking your heart anymore.
12. You no longer have to fight. My heart, at full capacity, is quite large, and I will go to the ends of the earth for my love. I will fight time. I will fight distance. I will fight society and social pressure and whatever places itself in front of me. I will invest myself in the things that will keep my relationship thriving through whatever the situation may be. If you’re anything like me, now you can stop fighting distance and time zones and work contracts and continental differences and whatever seemed like a hurdle in your relationship… and just relax. No more effort. Just you, with you, in the here and now. And it can be exciting. It may sound lame, but invest that fight in YOU. Date yourself and learn yourself and enhance yourself. ALL of your energy can go to you. Be excited to see what comes of it.
So yea, you’ve recently been dumped. You’re still hurt about it. You still love the person you fell in love with. You still hope for a future with the person you fell in love with. If you could snap your fingers and have eveything return to the “happily ever after” you thought you were knee-deep in, then you would. The reality of the situation, however, says that you cannot. So focus on the positive. Smile at all these wonderful things. Continue to smile because life is way too short to focus on the negatives. There’s positivity in every situation. So here is why the breakup You never wanted, is actually a wonderful thing…