And the moral of the story is….

The moment you realize you’ve been doing it wrong this entire time…

For a few of months, I’ve been trying to fall out of love. I unexpectedly fell head over heels in love with a woman whom I never even wanted to like, and then she broke my heart. Since then, every day my goal is to make it through the day and somehow magically love her less and less until one day I realize I no longer love her at all.

That’s how it’s been with my exes. I grieve the loss of them for a while and then one day it just hits me; I’m over them. The “love” is gone, I move on, and never even think about looking back. So I’ve been waiting on the “never looking back” part this entire time.

However, there’s one key difference between my other exes and this one. Continue reading

little muse

image

another from the vault…

June 17, 2010
you’re my muse.
i don’t know why.
when I look at you my vision sparks
my mind flutters and then flies
i stray from mundane and right.
i indulge in insane and fright.
my mind swims and floats in air full of rhymes, colors, whims
hearing you name

grass begins to flow
waters grow
the wind shines with rays
the sun’s breeze blows like music

because you’re my muse
within you everything is new.
nothing ever as it has been
My creativity is you.

12

I’m suppose to be twelve short hours away.
I’m suppose to be twelve short hours away.
I’m suppose to be twelve short hours away.

I’ve been waiting four weeks to see the woman I love, but she doesn’t love me, and I won’t be seeing her.

I got an email today. My flight is ready for me to check in. I had planned to be wheels up in the a.m. I want to be wheels up in the a.m. And an insane part of me is contemplating making that flight and dealing with everything left for me to do here later. I could go to Miami in the morning…

I’m suppose to be one sleep away.
Tomorrow night I’m suppose to lay looking love’s way.
I’m suppose to be happy and in love.
A part of a baby power couple.

I’m dressed. I’m sitting on the side of my bed, dressed.
I got asked out. This woman asked me out for drinks. I said ok.
Nothing about me wants to go out. But I’m dressed.
The thought of sitting at a bar with some woman I don’t know…
I think I’m going to be sick.

This week has been ok, but now every emotion I had is rushing back.
I knew I would feel this way.
I knew emotions would flood me because I’m supposed to be twelve short hours away.

Why does this hurt me?
It hurts me.
It hurts.
I’m suppose to be twelve short hours away.

one


31 December 2015 10:03pm

One who thinks you’re beautiful when you know you’re definitely not.
One who is proud of you for simply being yourself.
One who turns frustration into laughter and overthinking into smiles.
One who makes it easy to express how you really feel.
One who is patient.
One who is honest, whether that honesty be easy or hard to hear.
One who will push you to be a better you.
One who appreciates all the things about you that you didn’t even realise were worth appreciating.
One who is grateful for past lessons, happy with the moments of now, and excited about the future…with you.
One who apologises with sincerity.
One who is kind.
One who lets you know when you need to apologise.
One who holds you when you have a bad dream. Continue reading

Is…

Love is age? Love is gender? Love is race? Love is religion? Love is nationality? Love is family status?
“4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”                                                                      – 1 Corinthians 13
Think about it. Happy Sunday