Gratitude

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I thank God for hearing when I call.
I thank God for listening when I speak.
I thank God for answering the questions I ask, whether I like the answer or not.
I thank God for clarity in situations that onced troubled me.
I thank God for growth.
I thank God for giving me the wisdom to hear Him speak.
I thank God for the relationship that leads me to seek Him.
I thank God for showing me my faults, my flaws, and my wrongdoings.
I thank God for giving me a desire to be better.
I thank God for the epiphanies of life.

I’ve been struggling with sadness and grief and anger. Continue reading

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This is healing…

What to say?
Well…
the adjustment is underway.
I’m somewhere in between mourning the lost of love and celebrating the joy of my own rebirth.

Every morning I start my day with a walk accompanied by good music and a protein shake. I set positive intentions for each day, and then commence to follow through.

Each day is filled with thoughts, a sentiment of missing, regret, anger, slight sadness…usual breakup feels. However, each day also brings laughter, an increase in satisfaction that things ended, small mends to my heart, new visions going forward, and less looking back at what was.

This is healing. Although it’s difficult and painful, it’s an adventure and a journey. Moving through pain, at times, seems impossible, but then I make it through to the other side of the moment, and exhale.

I welcome the discomfort; it means I’m outgrowing this scarred skin.
I welcome the pain; it means I still have the ability to feel.
I welcome the journey; I’ll be better once I reach the end.

I look forward to the beauty that is to come…

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3 Different Hearts

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I like having my heart.
I can be cold. I can be distant. I’m really good at playing the field.
I can be guarded. I can be rude. I can be completely hands off it.
I have a heart though, and it’s big and wide and open.
I like having my heart.

I’ve been in love exactly two times.
(three, if you include my love for self)
My first love, well, her heart was… Complicated Continue reading

12

I’m suppose to be twelve short hours away.
I’m suppose to be twelve short hours away.
I’m suppose to be twelve short hours away.

I’ve been waiting four weeks to see the woman I love, but she doesn’t love me, and I won’t be seeing her.

I got an email today. My flight is ready for me to check in. I had planned to be wheels up in the a.m. I want to be wheels up in the a.m. And an insane part of me is contemplating making that flight and dealing with everything left for me to do here later. I could go to Miami in the morning…

I’m suppose to be one sleep away.
Tomorrow night I’m suppose to lay looking love’s way.
I’m suppose to be happy and in love.
A part of a baby power couple.

I’m dressed. I’m sitting on the side of my bed, dressed.
I got asked out. This woman asked me out for drinks. I said ok.
Nothing about me wants to go out. But I’m dressed.
The thought of sitting at a bar with some woman I don’t know…
I think I’m going to be sick.

This week has been ok, but now every emotion I had is rushing back.
I knew I would feel this way.
I knew emotions would flood me because I’m supposed to be twelve short hours away.

Why does this hurt me?
It hurts me.
It hurts.
I’m suppose to be twelve short hours away.

Why The Breakup You Never Wanted, Is Actually A Wonderful Thing

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So, you got dumped. Your partner decided one day that being in a relationship was something she didn’t want. So just like that, you were a thing of the past. It sucks. You still love her. BUT here is why that breakup you didn’t want, is actually a wonderful thing…

1. You can be satisfied with yourself. She didn’t leave you because you did anything wrong. Not to brag, but you’re actually a wonderful partner. Knowing this, realize you’ve finally learned all those “lessons” from past relationships, and that you truly do know how to be happy, healthy, and in love. You know how to be a great partner, and one day someone (who also knows how to be a great partner) will appreciate that. So be satisfied with “Me”.

2. No more rose colored glasses. You can see things about your former partner a bit more clearly now. She is in no way a horrible person, but she is also not exactly the person she presented to you. Now you can see her as she truly is; both with the good and the bad. Looking towards the future; whether you end up as friends, whether you end up back together, whether you never speak again… you have a whole picture of her now. Clarity is always a good thing.

3. You need absolutely nothing from anyone. You were happy with yourself and with your life before her. You are still happy with yourself and your life after her. It’s wonderful to know that all you ever NEEDED from her… was nothing.

4. You’re emotional. Embrace it. When I’m emotional, I’m Continue reading