Tiffany

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You haunt my dreams. The sound of your voice. That sparkle in your eyes. The way you move as if the world is your stage and we’re all background players.
I hate it.
I hate you.
You haunt my dreams and cause me to feel bloody red rage whenever I hear your name – Tiffany… Continue reading

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Well, I’m going to be taking a break from blogging for a little while. I’m excited to say I’m writing a book. I’ll be focusing my energy into that journey. Stay tuned and wish me luck!!!

My Intentions…

This wasn’t my intent.
This wasn’t what I intended.

I’ve said all the cliché words to myself that I’m suppose to say:
I’m better off without her.
I’m better off without her selfishness.
I deserve to be given the same effort I put in.
I never lied; I deserve honesty.
I gave more than she’d actually earned.
Somewhere, someday… I’ll meet my match effortlessly.
I’m a very rare catch.

I was even honest and said to myself the things few people will admit: Continue reading

And the moral of the story is….

The moment you realize you’ve been doing it wrong this entire time…

For a few of months, I’ve been trying to fall out of love. I unexpectedly fell head over heels in love with a woman whom I never even wanted to like, and then she broke my heart. Since then, every day my goal is to make it through the day and somehow magically love her less and less until one day I realize I no longer love her at all.

That’s how it’s been with my exes. I grieve the loss of them for a while and then one day it just hits me; I’m over them. The “love” is gone, I move on, and never even think about looking back. So I’ve been waiting on the “never looking back” part this entire time.

However, there’s one key difference between my other exes and this one. Continue reading

I’ve been avoiding this…

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I’ve been avoiding writing. I’ve been inclined to write but have purposely decided countless times to distract myself instead. I didn’t want to write, because I didn’t want to write about my heartbreak and I didn’t want anyone to know I was still heartbroken. Then I read my last post and it seemed hypocritical of me not to write. So this is what came out…. Continue reading

Eat!!!

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i haven’t had an appetite in four weeks. I’ve lost fifteen pounds in a month, doing absolutely nothing. I’ve been eating once a day, if I remember to. When I’m stressed or sad, my appetite goes out the window.  But tonight, at 1:54am, I got out of my bed, went to my kitchen, and made a sandwich. I WAS STARVING!!

And I’m  so glad! I want to lose weight, but I want it to be with sweat and work and an increase in muscle and endurance…  Not from being sick over my ex girlfriend.

So, I hope I gain a little weight back. Then I want to lose it again. gain some muscles. Be able to do some chin-ups. Be able to run.

I’m eating tonight. I’m glad.

Confinement

 

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I’m in my home. In my atmosphere.
Candles lit. Incense burning.
Slow tunes flowing from my speakers as I pour a glass of wine and begin to slow myself for the night.

I sip. I hum. I listen.
” … boxes don’t fit me very well. Confinement is hell, or what I imagine hell to be…
to Fall into your Winter means to Spring where my dreams dare not Summer.
to give into your darkness, means to take all my light and hide…”
-Carolyn Malachi
Continue reading