Well, I’m going to be taking a break from blogging for a little while. I’m excited to say I’m writing a book. I’ll be focusing my energy into that journey. Stay tuned and wish me luck!!!

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Gratitude

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I thank God for hearing when I call.
I thank God for listening when I speak.
I thank God for answering the questions I ask, whether I like the answer or not.
I thank God for clarity in situations that onced troubled me.
I thank God for growth.
I thank God for giving me the wisdom to hear Him speak.
I thank God for the relationship that leads me to seek Him.
I thank God for showing me my faults, my flaws, and my wrongdoings.
I thank God for giving me a desire to be better.
I thank God for the epiphanies of life.

I’ve been struggling with sadness and grief and anger. Continue reading

And the moral of the story is….

The moment you realize you’ve been doing it wrong this entire time…

For a few of months, I’ve been trying to fall out of love. I unexpectedly fell head over heels in love with a woman whom I never even wanted to like, and then she broke my heart. Since then, every day my goal is to make it through the day and somehow magically love her less and less until one day I realize I no longer love her at all.

That’s how it’s been with my exes. I grieve the loss of them for a while and then one day it just hits me; I’m over them. The “love” is gone, I move on, and never even think about looking back. So I’ve been waiting on the “never looking back” part this entire time.

However, there’s one key difference between my other exes and this one. Continue reading

New Acceptance

I’m starting to believe that what I want doesn’t exist.

I’ve never had good.
Anytime I’ve come close to good, a massive amount of bullshit overpowers.
Sometimes, I blame myself for the bull; accepting what I know I shouldn’t.
However, most of the time I’m simply blindsided.
Never saw the bullshit coming.
Never saw the negative coming. Continue reading

Why

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I write to purge.
Writing gives me an outlet to say the words my lips dare not touch.
I write to release. I write so that I can be my own sounding board; so that the page can be a set of ears to listen to my thoughts.
I write to calm the storms that swirl and explode in my mind and in my spirit. To sift through all the many jumbled up and confused emotions inside of me, and to bring order and peace to my psyche.
I write as a way to hug myself when I’m lonely and to encourage myself when it’s only me.
I write to dialogue with the spirit of my God, and the spirits of those who came before me, and with the spirits of my present sisters worldwide.
I write to purge.

And then I share. Continue reading