3 Different Hearts

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I like having my heart.
I can be cold. I can be distant. I’m really good at playing the field.
I can be guarded. I can be rude. I can be completely hands off it.
I have a heart though, and it’s big and wide and open.
I like having my heart.

I’ve been in love exactly two times.
(three, if you include my love for self)
My first love, well, her heart was… Complicated Continue reading

Why The Breakup You Never Wanted, Is Actually A Wonderful Thing

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So, you got dumped. Your partner decided one day that being in a relationship was something she didn’t want. So just like that, you were a thing of the past. It sucks. You still love her. BUT here is why that breakup you didn’t want, is actually a wonderful thing…

1. You can be satisfied with yourself. She didn’t leave you because you did anything wrong. Not to brag, but you’re actually a wonderful partner. Knowing this, realize you’ve finally learned all those “lessons” from past relationships, and that you truly do know how to be happy, healthy, and in love. You know how to be a great partner, and one day someone (who also knows how to be a great partner) will appreciate that. So be satisfied with “Me”.

2. No more rose colored glasses. You can see things about your former partner a bit more clearly now. She is in no way a horrible person, but she is also not exactly the person she presented to you. Now you can see her as she truly is; both with the good and the bad. Looking towards the future; whether you end up as friends, whether you end up back together, whether you never speak again… you have a whole picture of her now. Clarity is always a good thing.

3. You need absolutely nothing from anyone. You were happy with yourself and with your life before her. You are still happy with yourself and your life after her. It’s wonderful to know that all you ever NEEDED from her… was nothing.

4. You’re emotional. Embrace it. When I’m emotional, I’m Continue reading

Breakup Ideas!!

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You’ve recently gone through a breakup. It’s all still very fresh. You still feel sadness, you still have to will yourself through parts of the day, and you have a thousand thoughts of your ex and your broken relationship running through your head constantly. What do you do about it? How about using the emotions you’re trapped in at this moment to build a better you.

1. “Breakup Workout Plan

Want to Text: 5 push-ups
Want to Check her FB/Insta/Twitter: 10 squats
Sad-Butterflies in Stomach Feeling: 10 sit-ups
Sick Stomach Feeling: 15 jumping Jacks
Want to Share a Moment: share with my best friend instead, 45 sec plank
Stuck in Deep Thought: 10 triceps dips, 30 sec wall sit, 10 lunges
Actually Did One of the “Wants”: ALL THE ABOVE
Etc….”

You obviously tailor-make your workout to your own personal breakup woes, but doing something constructive will be good for your body and be a good distraction.

There, of course, will be times when exercising won’t be an option. Continue reading

To thine OWN self be true

Ya know, sometimes you have to do what’s best for you, even when it’s hard. Even when you don’t want to. Even when you wish the situation would just handle itself. Sometimes, you have to put your big boy/big girl pants on and handle life.

This is one of those times.

I’ve learned a lot over the years. I’ve learned a lot about my own naivety. I’ve learned a lot about my own awesomeness. I’ve learned a lot about how people will treat you; mostly that it’s dependent upon how you allow them to. But FINALLY, I’ve learned to take care of me first.

It took me a while, and a few really stupid mistakes to get this through my head, but finally I get it. Finally I really am so secure in my love of self that I value myself as the rarity that I am. Finally, I’m loving me enough to do what’s right for me.

The situation may suck, but what a lovely opportunity to give myself some love. Yea, I’m gonna be alright….

Two Days. A Breakup Story

  
Two days.
I sunk and drowned in despair and confusion for two days.
I didn’t eat for two days, consuming only liquor.
I rolled around in my misery, becoming filthy with doubt and anger and grief
for two days.
I allowed my happiness to be fully dependent upon someone else for two days.
I couldn’t breathe for two days.
I went over all the what ifs, and why nots, and what went wrong for two days.
For two days everything took so much effort.
Getting out of bed was a chore, for two days.
Washing was exhausting, for two days.
I let pain set up camp in the deepest parts of my being and corrode my spirits from the inside out and take over my mind and hurt me…for two days.

And then day three.

I remembered, I’m in love with me.
I stopped drowning and swam to the surface on day three.
I washed my face and hands and body of the misery and doubt and anger and grief and saturated my skin with peace and serenity and love and music, on day three.
I remembered that my happiness came from me on day three.
I went over my future plans, made new plans, considered better possibilities, welcomed all and any possibility on day three.
On day three I moved with the energy of a good night’s rest.
I showered, biked, walked, sang, danced on day three with ease.
I smiled on day three.
I smiled and allowed my love of me to surface from deep within me where laughter and music flow freely, and let the self love flow from my pores like rain from the clouds, and closed my eyes and felt the love envelope me and warm me and heal me…on day three.